On Needing Help

For those who don't know, I recently came down with a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) that started to progress into my kidneys. As far as I knew at the time, I didn't have insurance and had little to no money after getting tickets to PAX 2014. My bank account had barely enough (with a three dollar buffer) to pay rent and the medication and such would put me under. While I was at my worst, I reached out for help. I never do that, at least not willingly, and have to be strong-armed into accepting help from anyone. But I did it, and I am better off for it.

I have a bus pass for the whole of this month, and am only paying that friend back for it because I insisted. My land-lady/roommate let me pay my rent late. My boss understood when I needed to leave work early to go to Urgent Care because I put off going to the hospital for too long (much longer and I would've ended up in the ER). In all the confusion I forgot to turn in a form for food benefits (I am quite poor, obviously), but people are helping me for that.

This isn't something I am used to. I was raised in a very atypical household. Many would say abusive. Anyway, I learned from a young age that you have to provide for yourself. Depend on no one, and don't accept help because it is weakness and 100% of the time whoever is offering to help is manipulating you into getting something late (like interest on a loan).

The point of the matter is, I was flabbergasted by how willing and able people were to help me and how they asked for nothing in return. A friend even drove me across the state and back in one day to get everything out of my storage unit so I didn't have to pay another month on it. It is a slow process, but I am learning not to be a hypocrite when it comes to help. I would give a stranger a kidney if they needed, but refused to be helped myself.

Accept help when you need it. I am thankful for all the help I've received. I don't know where I would be without it, so I guess what I'm trying to say is... don't be afraid to ask for help.

See you on the other side,
Scarlet